Everyone Has A Story

Love, Care & Respect - Everyone Deserves!

Usually we grow up learning that those girls on the road we see are very bad, so we make our minds and get wrong impressions of the people from the way they dress and from their behaviors. But the fact is that how someone makes their hair and how well they dress up has nothing to do with their personality or qualities. 

They unknowingly become the victims of our eyes and our wrong judgments as well as the victims of some kinds of abuses which we are not aware of. If someone has to overdo something, that shows they need attention. They are attention seekers, they urge for love and care the same way as everyone else does. They want someone to say something good about them...

Quite recently I have seen such a thing that blew my mind and made me think completely the opposite of what I was thinking from the first impression I got.

It was just three weeks ago, I had to go to hospital to take responsibility as a bystander to my beloved husband's Granny. I had to take morning shift from 9:00 am to 3:00 pm (5 hours).

Since it was a general ward, there were 6 beds in the ward, all occupied. There were one old man (in serious condition who passed away the following day, may he rest in peace!) and then two other old ladies from Huvadhu Atoll (suffering from lung problems - difficulty in breathing) and a boy (who was a Thalassemia patient) and a girl (who was a Diabetic patient).

I loved the Granny and was compassionate towards her caring even though she was unresponsive (in a vegetative state like). I don't know the exact condition (medical terms) of her, to be honest. But everyone knew she was counting her last days. It was a pleasure to me to have the opportunity to care for her and to spend time with her. However, it was also tiring and quite boring to sit near the bed all the time. So I needed to take a walk and go to other patients. Talk to the bystanders and ask them about their conditions.

One of these bystanders was a lady in her 30s who was taking care of her mother who was suffering from lung problem. Her mother was one of the patients whom I have mentioned above to be from Huvadhu Atoll.

The first thing I noticed was that this lady was wearing an uneasy outfit that looked inappropriate to me to wear in such a public place. Specially we being Muslims we tend to judge about others' appearances immediately after the first impression we get from the very moment we see them. She was also wearing lots of makeup which looked odd to me too. At that moment I thought to myself "she would look more beautiful without it, why is she like that?" A short lady in height, wearing high Wedges in the hospital was another thing that was taken me aback. The first day when I saw her sitting near the patient's bed, I thought she was a visitor to the patient, so it was fine. But the scond day also she was wearing the same kind of clothes. I wished if I could ask her whether she stayed there in the hospital all day long, but something stopped me from talking to her.

I was still not talking to her until the third day I saw her sitting and taking care of the patient, feeding and combing her hair that morning. I realized that she was the only person for the patient and even without proper sleep, she was not showing a haste in her action or any tiredness. Despite of having no place to lie down and rest, she attended the patient without any complaints. She was very loving and kind towards the patient.

After seeing this, I felt like talking to her because whenever I looked at them she smiled to me and I smiled back too. Eventually, I approached to her and sat with her. She started talking to me as if we had known each other for a long time; Don't forget that I am also very friendly too :). She told me the patient was her mother. And to my surprise she had been in the hospital for two and a half month. She told me about her mother's condition and a little about her family too.

Accoding to her, it's a middle-class family of moderate thinking. Her father being a fisherman does also some fishing related other jobs and is self-employed. Her mother was taking care of the family as well as helping the husband with his work until she fell sick immediately after giving birth of thier 9th child. She said her mother had been suffering from this expectedly terminal disease for the past 10 years following a dry cough. They even have to travel abroad two to three times a year for her treatment. They found no solution for the cough and probably her lung has been infected for which she was being treated in the hospital. Supposedly they spend hell a lot of money for her treatment hoping to find a solution and this lady seemed to be the most concerned child among all 12 children whom also has a family two children and a husband.

She told me a little about her husband too which convinced me how lucky we are to have a husband who is not a drug addict and can take care of the family, no matter what happens. Her story forced me to believe that our struggle in life and what we have gone though is nothing compared to her stuggle in life to bring back her husband from what he was doing, plus the responsibility of her children and the a sick mother. She at least tried and got him rehabilitated for about three years with her love, support and full attention towards him. However, unfortunately she had to travel for her mother between Male and her Island during which her husband withdrawals and started drug abuse again. This time it was more worse than she could ever think of. She became hopless after she found out that all the work she did to hold him back away from all those things were gone wasted and she decided to let it go. Sadly she took a turn, to keep it short.

She had a story to tell. Everyone has a story too. We need someone to listen to and to show us a light of hope. To awaken us from the darkness by magic as if it all were just a nightmare and nothing was real. We all need some advices and some appreciations of our existence too.

At this moment while talking to her, I went thoroughly in her story. Lost in it, appreciating what I have and feeling grateful for everything that I have. Her story was short but painful and I knew that she must have sought her own happiness forgetting about her own children's upbringing and education, and most of all their future was not her responsibility alone. Her husband must be equally responsible for what she had to go through. 

When we get married, we as a couple, need support from each other all the way through emotionally and physically and mentally during all the ups and downs so that we can have a happy and healthy relationship together. Love, respect and care are some of the aspects of our life too that we can't live without. In fact, I would say, more essential than money.

She seemed to be lost in the middle of this cruel world. But she seemed always concerned about her loved ones. The pain she keeps to herself only. The way she cared for her mother was an example of her soft side. The whole picture of what I was thiking suddenly changed at a blink of my eyes after I heard her story. It was unbelievably painful and she hid nothing, because there was nothing to hide. She was an obvious true human being with a big heart. I didn't want to know what she is doing at present or how she lives. For the moment it was enough for me to understand that she is a brave lady who is wandering and trying to survive ever since all her happiness shattered in the hands of her husband whom she once must have thought to be protecting her from all the harms and evil eyes, whom she must have thought would be catching her whenever she falls and would be by her side forever.

She respected everyone in the ward. She spoke kindly and was offering help to others as well. Now this is whom she really is. I am glad that I spoke to her and gave her some relief and eased up her pain by listening to what she had to say. I wished her all the best in life and her mother a speedy recovery!

We continued talking until it was my last day since the Granny (may her soul rest in peace) passed away. During these days, I started seeing some changes gradually in her. From the way she dressed to her makeup, things changed. The last day when I saw her, she wasn't wearing that short sleeved hip lenght tight top with a deep wide neck through which her chest could be visible. Instead she was wearing a comfortable loose-fit long-sleeved top. More surprisingly she looked elegantly beautiful with only lipstick worn without that black thick eyeliner smudged around her eyes.

Become a friend of the people in need. It's not money only that we could offer. Everyone needs attention, love and care which money can't buy and we could give free of charge!

Let's not judge a person by thier appearances. What they wear is not important, hence try to get close to them to know them from their own stories. We all have a story to tell!

Another beautiful experience with an old lady during this period is coming soon... stay connected!